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This year marks a ten-year milestone since the term “ghosting” entered the common lexicon. Initially, the idea that someone could abruptly cease all contact with a romantic interest without any notice seemed like the height of disrespect. We were so innocent. In the decade since, navigating toward a mate has only become more bewildering – an commonly fruitless pursuit in humiliation that is increasingly defined by social media lingo.

Generation Z, a demographic who grew up during a social isolation epidemic, a male identity crisis, and a concerted attack on the freedoms of females and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a significantly more chaotic landscape than their Gen Y forerunners could ever fathom. And so their romantic lexicon has grown more extensive and more deranged, with terms like “Ogre-ing” and “vine swinging” straining the limits of your sanity.

What follows is a extensive glossary to the terms Zoomers is using to navigate love, sex and the pursuit of both. To channel one of the year’s most viral memes, by the end of this list you’ll yearn to get back to simpler times – because wherever that is, it lacks “wokefishing”.

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A

Realness – According to gen Z, dating’s gold standard is presenting as your real, unfiltered self. Best wishes with that!

The Letter B

Feathered friend test – A TikTok trend connected to a methodology developed by couples researchers, in which you bring up something insignificant – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and observe whether your date's reply is inquisitive or disinterested. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Independent partner – Zoomers' response to the “manic pixie dream girl” trope of the early 2000s – but rather than having short fringe, liking indie music and eschewing commitment, the mysterious partner focuses on her own needs while radiating enigma and self-sufficiency. (She may yet have baby bangs.)

The Letter C

Support test – This means going for someone who aids you without being asked. If you entered a room, they would fetch a chair for you to sit down.

Errand romance – A outing where two people connect while running errands, such as walking the dog or grocery shopping. In other words, how financially strained young adults do budget-friendly romance in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Melting down – Having a breakdown when you feel swamped by life. You can crash out over a crush or breakup, spilling all of your unreciprocated emotions.

The Letter D

DINK – Two incomes, no children. Once a symbol of 1980s yuppie excess, it refers to couples who choose against parenthood to prioritize their own well-being. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Vulnerable signaling – The opposite of playing it cool: utilizing dialogue, honesty and openness.

F

Flags

• Red flags – Behavioral traits signaling a prospective partner is not right. For instance calling their former partners unstable, poor tipping habits, a fondness for Woody Allen films, a new DJ career …
• Positive signs – These actions affirm your choice to date a mate. Examples include following up to make sure you got home safely after a date, minimal phone use, owning a proper bed …
• Neutral quirks – These usually describe niche, mostly harmless idiosyncrasies. Such as being an keen ornithologist, still carrying around a biro in their bag, paying rent in physical money …

Niche bonding – When you connect with someone who’s just as enthusiastic about films about the second world war or DVD collecting or art or anything it may be, as you. Or, conversely, meeting someone who hates the same things or people that you do (nothing builds intimacy faster than having a common enemy).

The Letter G

The band Geese – A musical group a typical Zoomer guy likes.

Phantom reappearing – Someone who reappears into your life after a length of ghosting.

Eager-to-please partner – Someone who is affable, eager to please and devoted. The rare boyfriend who is beloved by all of his significant other's friends, and a mysterious partner's foil.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A primarily online subculture of men so preoccupied with self-pleasure that they attempt marathon sessions, intentionally postponing orgasm so they can persist as long as possible.

H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A mindset describing many women's increasing pessimism toward straight relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

High-value woman – An archetype championed by manosphere figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, nurturing and happily home-oriented, who seemingly has no aspirations of her own aside from satisfying her male partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “pessimism” thing better?

I

Ick factors – Arbitrary and usually everyday dealbreakers that immediately kill any sense of attraction.

“If he wanted to, he would" – Something to remember after you watch someone else receive an incredibly sweet gesture.

The Letter J

Jobs – These have not been this significant in the romance landscape since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “finance bro” is the ultimate partner: a fleece-vest-wearing, Republican-coded guy who will be a provider (there’s a hit TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd opt for partners in fields they perceive as being staffed by the more nurturing among us: nurses, educators or counselors.

The Letter K

Kissing – This year, scientists learned that the kiss has existed for 16 million years. But the days of kissing may be limited since some Zoomers desire fewer intimate scenes in film, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find cinematic intimacy believable.

Light catfishing – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) photos of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your job sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {